Mildly Manic & Happily Hysterical !

Ok, I think the Title speaks for itself !!! Well to be honest would you expect any different from me ….now , come on, please be honest !!! 38 days till Christmas but more importantly 6 days to go , of full on making, may I add, whilst being a very important and talented , business woman ( pfftt ) and working full time with lovely little darlings and running a home ( and looking gorgeous ) before I set up stall at the Christmas Light Switch On in Chippenham next Friday.

I need not panic , I tell myself , it is fine, I CAN DO IT, I am calm !!!!!!!!! what a load of twaddle !!! I am screaming ….and in fear of the men in white coats coming , ( she says , sat here in her straight jacket ….a pink one of course ). Oh hang on , I must go and do a bit of painting in The Shed before I loose the rest of the daylight and become numb bottomed and stuck to this chair ….I will return , very shortly, covered in paint , none the less, to finish this little chapter , TTFN as the posh peops say :).  OH s**t , must put washing in & remember to turn blinking machine ON this time DOOOHHHH !!

mmmmmm Must remember to switch electric on to Shed before venturing down to the bottom of the garden in socks!!! For Gods sake !!! Now I have wet feet !! and I really need Tea, Strong and Thick Tea ( as it is too early for a Wine ). So, my list of  ‘to do’s’ is MASSIVE , but I can sit with my Tea and smugly cross off number 1 to do ( bit of list OCD creeping in there ) LISTS ARE SOOOOO SATISFYING 🙂 🙂 . Another 10 things to go . It is fine …I do not need Valium , not quite yet anyway…but I could lie about the time , because you wouldn’t know , and crack the bottle of  Soave open!!! Tho not recommended whilst playing with sharp objects and Glue Guns , I have sewn myself to my work several times , and one is  rather partial to getting carried away with ones Glue Stick , No I am not being smutty !

The List aaaaaaaaaaaaagggggggggggggrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr hahahahaahahaaha she types whilst rocking and gently singing in her chair….see I am quite sane !!! Pretty Fabric Magnets, Unique Key Rings, Christmas Tree Decorations, Dish Cloth Knickers & Decorative Wooden Blocks all await my attention not to mention the sensible ‘officy’ bits that are scribbled at the bottom of my page. Oh it is so hard being highly intelligent ( think i spelt that right ) and creative ! Oh forgot to mention the bit about Hubby ! HIS SKY IS BROKEN and he cannot cope ….he has to wait almost 1 whole week before this can be rectified by a proper man whom knows what he is doing …..he is not a happy hubby. I get home to washing up and hoovering not being done , besides the fact that I was up at 5.30 this morning getting house all sorted so I could return from work and create. Give a man 9am – 1pm to do 2 simple things around the house , but NO ….he couldn’t do it because SKY ISN’T WORKING !!!!! EH ???? what’s that all about then , for goodness sakes I GIVE UP , and because he hasn’t hoovered i now have bits on my feet , I hate that, and its worse as I walked on wet path to get to Shed !!!! AHHH thank god for that , almost wine time 🙂 because I’m worth it !!! I must get my almost numb now, bum into action and do something important …like sewing , only 6 days to do ………………….I am Calm !!!! Not HYSTERICAL AT ALL !!!!!!!!

List ….. number 2 ……magnets, decorations , Valium  key rings, wine , fag, more wine, food maybe if time , knickers, Valium , sleep …mmmm may have to knock myself out to do that  !!!!   Number 3 …..more flippin’ wine …… then the Glue Gun becomes extremely exciting and the daemons in me come out , Ahhhh I know what ….maybe the Sky Box needs fixing with Glue…………….she is grinning like a cat that has got the cream now ……………….. Think I  may need medication afterall  !!!!!   I








Sunday, Sunday

How to fill a Sunday ?????????????? Well I certainly didn’t fill it with what I had planned ! I had planned to get up at the crack of dawn , and I did, had ciggy, fed cat, watered the other cat( she only drinks from the bathroom tap and she waits until you sit on the loo before screeching at you, then I end up doing a funny hop with knickers around my ankles having stopped mid-wee to turn the sodding tap on so she shuts up ! )  , let dog out for pee, then went back to bed !!!! Woke up with one cat dribbling down my neck while sleeping on my head, the other tucked under my right arm all purring, and I could not move my left leg as the dog was asleep on it !!! And I was shocked that it was 9 am …I NEVER LYE-IN 😦 OH …..half the sodding day had gone !!! I blame the very expensive whiskey that Hubby and I dared to open instead of putting on E-bay ! So best laid plans gone to pot already, and I’m not even out from under the duvet !

So I shall tell you about my non-productive day. Ahhh look at the time- YAY It’s wine o’clock , I’m just going to the fridge, lol ! Haha , the girls on CF network page are trying to teach me something and the tears are running down my leg , because I’m such a thick bitch and I ain’t got a clue what I’m doing! Best get that Soave opened 🙂 Oh I do deserve it by the way as I have had a sale today YYIIPPPPPPPPIIIIIIEEEEEEEEE ( she says jumping around the kitchen) it is soooo exciting when you get an email from WOW Thank You 🙂 

Right my Sunday ….Bye bye Kit Kat ( she says waving ) she is my daughters BFF and she stayed last night, we love her !! ( she is going home now after being up for 1 hour !!! ) i wonder what time they dragged themselves through the front door last night / this morning .

I had planned to get up and super clean the stairs and hallway , yep we are talking Fly pooh again ! However , due to a shortage of early morning hours I talked myself out of it as I tucked in to a huge mountain of last nights washing up ….exciting eh ??? MMM its all rock’n’roll in this house I can tell you ! and I had planned to sew a Christmas Stocking but that didn’t happen either . I have just sat on my fat arse all day and played and chatted on the computer. I have dabbled with Stumbleupon and Craftjuice, ain’t got a clue what I’m doing really but hey apparantly it good to be part of these things , someone may see you and lead to a sale ! 

Knickers !!!! talking of sales …..Yep I sold Knickers today , my vintage Dishcloth Knickers 🙂 They are soooo great and funny, Peops love ’em ! they make fab Christmas stocking fillers and its all down to thanks from my friend on chat xx so cheers K 🙂 

dinner is all sorted …I managed to do something productive before lunchtime at least! cooking whilst chuckling away to Sara Cox on the radio ( I do love a bit of Coxie lol )   , and that is simmering on the hob as we speak …good old Spag Bol YUM YUM 🙂 oppss its bubbling , best go and stir brb x Now I must go and drink my wine …’well it is the day of rest’ and do some more form filling on-line Yawn . Happy Sunday Evening folks …. put your feet up and chillax ! For I certainly shall be once I have finished sitting on my fat  arse !!!! Speak soon tata xx ( 1st I have to work out how to put a picture on this blog without deleting the darn thing ….like I said I am thick as s*** ! xx ) Sodding computers !  Image



Funky Friday & Wine Time :)

Well today I went back to work 🙂 and it was lovely to see all the smiling faces that have missed me in the last 2 days 🙂 . However Me is very glad it is Friday , because that means Wine Time !!!

I did not get to The Shed to whip my Christmas Decorations into shape, I succumbed myself to a bit of cleaning ….it really did need doing . It seems the entire population of Flies in Lacock have come to my house during the past few months to Party and POOH everywhere ………….. little black spots in orifices you would not imagine ! EWW. So now i really do deserve that lovely glass of chilled Soave 🙂

So the very dopey cat did not do his job, by chewing nasty summer succulent insects to death, NO ….HIS priority, baby Rats to decorate the garden and shrews for presents left at the doorstep ! To top off the ever multiplying ( or it blummin’ seems like it ) fly pooh – in nipping to the loo mid scrubbing I discover that hubby has not done his job in emptying the cat tray……..The dog has done it for him , all over the bathroom floor , well, I shall pretend I have not seen this because I have done my bit and completely stripped one room of fly pooh ….so he has a nice surprise to come home to , I don not think he will shirk his household responsibilities again. Anyway I am far too busy now as it has passed wine o’clock 🙂

(she sneaks off to get a refil and smoke a ciggy ! )

My friend is chatting to me on the computer , knowing my little bathroom secret , eagerly awaiting my husbands return HAHA !!!

Friday night is not very exciting in this house except for the wine , I may do a little creating of Christmas Decorations or Handmade Gifts. Oh hang on a tic the troops are home ……………..

Oh …they are PARTAYYYING tonight ….as Orville ( the big green duck from the 80’s) believe it or not lol best not let the cat see him !!!!, it even has a Nappy ….the flies need that. ! Husband has ventured upstairs to change from his work things ….so now myself and my lovely friend are awaiting the tantrum :)…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….. OOOHHHHHHHHH I have just heard the light switch being pulled , and …………………….heheehehe (ssshhhhh) we know nothing ! hahaah The bin bags have gone upstairs. I am extremely disapointed … no tantrum 😦 I have been waiting for that for ages. cat tray all sorted and somehow …a ‘chuffing’ medal is deserved ! No-one has noticed that the conservatory is sparkling , smelling fresh and devoid of flippin’ fly pooh. I MAY AS WELL DISAPPEAR INTO MY SOAVE. I will inform my friend of Friday nights entertaining LET DOWN ( she is beeping me to speak as I write …knew she wouldn’t be able to wait for long…she likes her gossip 🙂 she also like to see my husband suffer now and again 🙂 🙂 !

Back in a bit , quick chat, and I will visit the ladies room now I don’t have to wade through the sandy textured floor 🙂

I am here …..empty glass needs refilling , tumble dryer has beeped and it seems The Shed is subject to the half assembled Gingerbread Men again …as I am going to top up my glass ( again ) after all it is FUNKY FRIDAY 🙂 I am neglecting, by choice this time though, the handmade crafts that need me !!! I bid you all a happy Friday, enjoy and be good and behave ( if you feel you can’t you should be here with me because I never do and never can on a Friday night …hence the title !

Night Night , sleep tight …mind the flies don’t pooh in the night ! xxxxx

Neglected Handmade Christmas :(

Day 2 of illness… bottom has reshaped itself to the mould of my sofa, which is rather difficult as sofa = small and bottom = large ! And my eyes have gone all Squiffy from Sky+.



I am in fear that my half assembled Gingerbread Men Christmas Decorations have taken over my little wooden studio !!! I need to make home made gifts and such like before I turn into a demented Elf !!!!

Tomorrow , Tomorrow I’ll be in The Shed tomorrow …just felt the need to burst into song then …I am trying to scare away the teenagers that are blocking my concentration !!!!! I would soooo rather be making country home gifts….than listening to stupid mobile phone games and trying to talk them into doing something productive like making dinner so I can carry on ranting about them on here !!! How can I be a Very Important and busy Business Lady with one munching crackers in one ear and the other playing pointless games in the other ??? TEENAGERS ARE IMPOSSIBLE !!! It seems the colour of her friends hair is now more important than Dinner , tidying up and even getting on my nerves !!!

I need to make …I am irritable and frustrated, I need to surrounded by gifts for the home and Christmas decorations to make me feel important and complete !!!

Still ……I can dream of tomorrow and making personalised handmade gifts in my little wooden hut after I have kicked 17yr olds butts and peeled potatoes, chopped onions, done washing etc etc and carry on convincing myself that I DO NOT have a bottom the size of a sofa and I AM a Very Important and Busy Business Lady !!

Tomorrow I will surround myself with all things pretty ( that does not include teenagers ) and get back to making ….where my bottom is happy to be 🙂

country home gifts from the ‘sick bed’

How boring is being at home ill ???  Feeling ‘yukky’ and unable to go into work, what does a crafty girl do?? Well …. to start, we get up as usual, no lie in for us ….need to make sure the 17yr old gets to College, the animals need toileting and feeding and the hubby needs kissing before he heads off for his day of work !!!!

A head spin of ideas for hand crafted Christmas gifts go around and around and there’s nowt’ I can do about it !!! So we fuel …Hot Buttered Crumpets on the sofa, in front of trashy TV ( something us crafty girls NEVER get time to do) and pots and pots of tea. A snooze maybe, cuddled up with the dog , that kills an hour or so and at least we can dream of our home personalised gifts ideas. Happy working away in our dreams we then wake!

Back to boredom !! What next? Staring at the hoovering that needs doing and pushing the ironing pile out of my head, One cannot possibly do Housework when one should be resting, even if it never gets done because making beautiful gifts for the home is much more fun !!! Time to Boredom Eat !!!! haha

Us poor very busy crafty girls just cannot DO NOTHING. So instead of working hard, a day has been spent ‘dreaming only’ of country home gifts, scoffing rubbish in my Pyjamas and watching almost a whole season of Britain’s Top Model on the Sofa. Some may say a very productive day …..but me , rather be making homemade gifts with love after a lovely day at work.

I am now writing this to get me off the ‘darn’ sofa and get motivated to feed the troops ! There….. Almost the end of the ‘Non-Making’ Day so tomorrows day will be filled of more personalised handmade gifts spinning in my head !!!